1) Matchups
THE AMBULANCE CHASERS vs THE BROWN B-RADSChasers thrash the B-Rads
126.50-114.50
Team Stars
Chasers: Chris Johnson (28.10)
B-Rads: A-Pete (19.90)
AWESOME! The Chasers dramatically beat the 1st place B-Rads on a Sunday Night Miracle! The Peyton Manning trade was validated - with gusto - as he marched up and down the field, leading the Colts to victory over the Patsies and the Chasers to victory over the B-rads. All hail the face of the NFL!
Also, I DARED Brad to score only 114 points and the cocky sonuvabitch did! Hubris has brought down better teams than yours, Arbige. Its ruined every single JGR team ever. You had this league wrapped up and I just ripped it out of your hands and threw it up in the air. Bitch.
Cinco Ocho >>>> Ocho CincoStS vs. THE GOODFELLAS
Jay saves some pride
86.50-83.55
Team Stars
Stump: Jay Cutler (23.55)
Fellas: Ocho Stinko (20.70)
Mike made a brilliant trade for Kevin Faulk that nearly salvaged his week... but, like most of the losing teams, cost himself the game by sticking with his craptacular early RB picks that havent panned out.
DONKEY PUNCHERS vs. SPANK IT BOYZPunchers score a lot of points in a down scoring week when they didnt need it
141.85-88.55
Team Stars
Punchers: Antonio Bryant (25.50)
Boyz: Clinton Portis (19.40)
Joe put up a 140 while starting JaMarcus Russell. Boring game.
Donald Driver: High on life...and Crystal Meth, it looks like...
RI COLTS vs. TTB
Teabaggers teabag Colts
129.55-108.65
Team Stars
Colts: Donald Driver (26.60)
TTB: Michael Jenkins (20.40)
Sticking with bad running backs is apparently the theme of the year. I will never understand why people would throw away 100 bucks rather than admit they made a bad draft pick. Doesnt make a difference at this point, of course, but there was a time something could have been done. Then again, LJ gave just enough hope that he was going to pan out...
THE BREASTS vs. THE SPREAD EAGLESEagles win despite stinking up the joint
95.40-77.20
Team Stars
Breasts: Andre Johnson (16.20)
Eagles: Owen Daniels (24.30)
Who the hell is Michael Bennett? It sounds familiar... but I have no clue who that is.
Also, Joey Porter was 100% right about Brandon Marshall. What a tool. Im glad I dont have any fairies like that on my team. Tell your players to stop looking at other players' muscles, Georgie.
Ernie Graham... got all dressed up to hang out... at like, an abondonedsubway line... for some reason. I guess he's just delighted to
no longer be a Brown B-Rad.
SK WARRIORS vs. JGR
Warriors dominate
100.90-100.55
Team Stars
Warriors: Earnest Graham (18.25)
Rainbows: Matt Jones (13.90)
If only someone had let John know what the rest of the country knew: Edgerrin James has lost his job to Timmy Hightower.
Ouch, buddy.
Thomas Jones, shown here withfirst lady-elect Michelle Obama
THE STRATT MEN vs. THE LEG SWEEPERS
Sweepers Sweep
137.30-66.00
Team Stars
Men:Al as Women:Ben. No Star for you. (Alright, I'll give one to Berrian, but you dont deserve it.)
Sweepers: Thomas Jones (22.70)
When I do the odds at the beginning of the year you may have noticed I give preference to teams that have played before and pay attention... read my blog... whatever. There is an implicit assumption in this that even if one of the other managers has a really good team he will mismanage it and fuck it up somehow. In that light, let me present Exhibit A: Ben starting TJ Duckett two weeks in a row... against Rice and Joe. In a game where the margin for error is razor thin you simply cant get away with mistakes like that. Not that it would have made a difference here... but its indicative of a larger, systematic problem.
2) Bets-CASALI LIQUORS CUP
A conference style competition, for anyone who works or who has worked at Casali Liquors. Wager amount TBD. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Casali Cup teams. If the event of a tie the tiebreaker will be who won when the tied teams met head to head.
2-0 StS
1-1 Beasts
0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-2 RI Colts
Past Winners:
2007: RI Colts
2006: Ambulance Chasers
-CHAMPIONS CUP
A conference style competition, for past winners of the CFFL Championship. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Champions Cup teams. If the event of a tie the tiebreaker will be total points scored in Champions Cup games.
1-0 Donkey Punchers ( total points)
1-1 Ambulance Chasers (232.15)
0-1 Brown B-Rads
If Joe beats Brad when they meet he will win the Cup. If he loses the scenarios break down like this:
- For Joe to win the Cup if he loses, he must score more than 109.90 to finish ahead of me and must lose by less than 8.75 to Brad in order to finish ahead of him.
- For Brad to win the Cup, Joe must lose and he must score at least 118.65 to finish ahead of me and he must outscore Joe by 8.75 to finish ahead of Joe.
- For Al to win the Cup, Joe must lose and he cannot score more than 109.90, and Brad must win and not score more than 118.65.
3) HeroesMOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
141.85 - Donkey Punchers vs. Spank It Boyz
MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
28.60 - Derrick Mason - Brown B-Rads ON HIS BENCH!!!!
28.10 - Chris Johnson - Ambulance Chasers
MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
168.05 - Spread Eagles vs. SK Warriors (Week 7)
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors (Week 2)
151.60 - SK Warriors vs. Breasts (Week 6)
149.95 - JGR vs. RI Colts (Week 8)
149.40 - Brown B-Rads vs Beasts (Week 4)
147.35 - Breasts vs. SK Warriors (Week 6)
146.80 - Ambulance Chasers vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 2)
146.35 - Leg Sweepers vs. StS (Week 2)
141.85 - Donkey Punchers vs. Spank It Boyz (Week 9)
140.95 - Ambulance Chasers vs. Spank It Boyz (Week 5)
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts (Week 3)
139.65 - Stratt Men vs. Spank It Boyz (Week 7)
137.90 - Donkey Punchers vs StS (Week 1)
137.30 - Leg Sweepers vs. the Stratt Men (Week 9)
136.35 - GOODFELLAS vs SK Warriors (Week 8)
136.00 - Stratt Men (Week 3)
MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
188.15 - Drew Brees - Pat
185.85 - Kurt Warner - Rice
182.70 - Phillip Rivers - Brad
181.50 - Aaron Rodgers - Jay
179.05 - Jay Cutler - Mike
174.50 - Clinton Portis - Terry
167.90 - Marion Barber - John
161.40 - Andre Johnson - George
160.00 - Donovan Mcnabb - Vinny
158.20 - Peyton Manning - AS
Andre Johnson, shown here withfirst lady-elect Michelle Obama
4) Stars
STARS OF THE WEEK (Star #1 = 3 stars, #2 = 2 stars, #3 = 1 star)
STAR #1: 28.10 - Chris Johnson - Ambulance Chasers
STAR #2: 26.60 - Donald Driver - RI Colts
STAR #3: 26.05 - Donovan McNabb - TTB
STAR LEADERS (Most stars at the end of of the season is the MVP)
11 Andre Johnson
7 Brian Westbrook
7 Marion Barber
6 Anquan Boldin
6 Brandon Marshall
6 Michael Turner
5 Lav Coles
5 Donald Driver
5 Steven Jackson
5 Chris Johnson
5 Larry Johnson
5 Clinton Portis
4 TJ Houshyomommakfhjefafdflhdah
4 Greg Jennings
4 LT
4 Roddy White
3 Bernard Berrian
3 Drew Brees
3 Reggie Bush
3 Thomas Jones
3 Donovan McNabb
3 Lance Moore
3 Mewelde Moore
3 Santana Moss
3 FWP
3 Adrian Peterson
2 Antonio Bryant
2 Correll Buckhalter
2 Plaxico Burress
2 Jerricho Cotchery
2 Jay Cutler
2 DeSean Jackson
2 Brandon Jacobs
2 Larry Fitzgerald
2 Frank Gore
2 Aaron Rodgers
2 Hines Ward
2 LenDale White
1 Donnie Avery
1 Steve Breaston
1 Ronnie Brown
1 Isaac Bruce
1 Chris Chambers
1 Dallas Clark
1 Chris Cooley
1 Owen Daniels
1 Braylon Edwards
1 Tony Gonzalez
1 Earnest Graham
1 Marvin Harrison
1 Ike Hilliard
1 Vincent Jackson
1 Edgerrin James
1 Michael Jenkins
1 Calvin Johnson
1 Chad Johnson
1 Matt Jones
1 Marshawn Lynch
1 Darren McFadden
1 Randy Moss
1 Phillip Rivers
1 Dominic Rhodes
1 Steve Smith
1 Fred Taylor
1 Kurt Warner
1 Reggie Wayne
1 Kellen Winslow
1 Jason Witten
5) Zeroes (players who started and scored no points)Jay - Chansi Stuckey
John - Edgerrin James
Ben - Sebastien Janikowski
Andre Johnson, shown here withfirst lady-elect Brad Arbige
6) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)
Mike - Brandon Stokley
Mike - Steven Jackson
Jay - Ricky Williams
Joe - Jamarcus Russell
Terry - Matt Schaub INJURY
Terry - Chris Perry
Tom - Joey Galloway
Tom - Michael Pittman
Vinny -LenDale White
George - Ben Roethlisjewbersfafejjjeeger
George - Brandon Marshall
George - Michael Bennett
Pat - Roy Williams
Pat - Marshawn Lynch
Pat - Joe Addai
Steve - Chad Pennington
John - Marion Barber
Ben - Kyle Orton INJURY
Ben - Santana Moss
Ben - Bobby Wade
Ben - TJ Duckett
Rice - Justin Fargas
7) Haiku of the Week
November arrives
How many wins will it take?
Real race begins...
8) Videos of the Week
THE LAMEST COMMERCIAL EVER:
