WEEKLY REVIEW: WEEK 3

No pictures for now - windows update has messed up my computer and now vista won't start. I hope to have it fixed tomorrow. I loaded this from my laptop, but its too much of a pain in the ass to do the pictures from this computer...

1) Matchups

THE AMBULANCE CHASERS vs JGR
Chasers win the "Game of the Week"
126.95-109.80
Team Stars
Chasers: TJ Houshmdfkfhjefafdflhdah (32.60)
Rainbows: Marion Barber (24.70)

This game's final score is deceivingly close. Brian Westbrook left the game after a couple carries and twelve yards. That's 1.2 points. His backup went on to 20+ points. I think its a pretty reasonable assumption BWest could have matched that, if not improve on it.

Sadly, John had to be a dick and scored JUST ENOUGH to sit a fraction of a point ahead of me after the Sunday night game. I had one player on MNF while JGR had none, meaning that a single catch would end it. JerricHERO Cotchery didnt create any suspense and caught a ball for 6 yards on the first play of the game.


THE BEASTS vs THE LEG SWEEPERS
Breasts win the "Battle of the Great WR Corps"
126.15-95.40
Team Stars
Breasts: Brandon Marshall (27.50)
Sweepers: Fred Taylor (15.00)

Out of 6 supposedly great WRs only one impressed: Brandon Marshall. A lot of poor performances here, but George carries the day on the backs of BMarsh and MJD.

TTB vs. SPANK IT BOYZ
Teabaggers win the "$50 bet bowl"
100.90-80.60
Team Stars
Baggers: Ike Hilliard (Really. 17.70)
Boyz: Clinton Portis (16.70)

Ugly match. Maybe instead of paying the bet you guys could just donate the $50 bones to charity. What the hell happened to Patrick Crayton? How can you be in that offense and not catch shit? Each week Ive sent Tito a trade for him... dont wait by your computer this week, pal.

THE BROWN B-RADS vs. STS
B-rads win the "CFBLCS Rematch Bowl"
115.80-87.70
Team Stars
B-Rads: Greg Jennings (19.50)
StS: Steven Jackson (17.80)

Brad revenges himself on Mike for getting knocked out in the baseball playoffs. Please, Mike, stop playing Vernon Davis already! If you had got reasonable alternatives to Davis and the Colts defense you might have beaten this loser. You damn well know the Colts DEF wasnt going to do well against the Jags...

Earnest Graham... uh-oh. This reminds me... bye weeks start this upcoming week. This will separate the men from the boys. Its a whole different game now. Its like how baseball turns into a completely different game when it gets hot out and the ball starts flying out of the park. I think the Donkey Punchers are helped the most.

THE SPREAD EAGLES vs. THE DONKEY PUNCHERS
Eagles win the "Battle of the Undefeateds" 125.85-122.50
Team Stars
Spreads: Marshawn Lynch (27.40)
Donkeys: Michael Turner (28.40)

Came down to Sunday night... but was never really in doubt as Joe was clinging to a very slim lead with no players remaining.

Most of the games this week had a lot of up and down performances and this game was no different. 48 combined points from the defenses, too.

RI COLTS vs. SK WARRIORS
Warriors win 138.25-86.60
Team Stars
Colts: Larry Johnson (18.10)
Warriors: Ronnie Brown (42.15)

Tom must have known he was in for a bad week when he saw the Dolphins were playing the Patriots. Fortunately for him the Fins slowed up at the end and Ronnie Brown only totaled 42 points. Between Gore and Brown the week was over before it began... sort of like New England's season!


THE GOODFELLAS vs. THE STRATT MEN
Stratt Men win 136.00-95.35
Team Stars
Fellas: LT (23.70)
Men: Reggie Bush (37.80)

This was another game where a couple of hot running backs were the difference. Matt Forte and Reggie Bush are pretty ridiculous... imagine if Ben still had Tom Brady to go with them?? Ben's team is not bad right now... decent chance at playoffs.

3) Bets


-CASALI LIQUORS CUP

A conference style competition, for anyone who works or who has worked at Casali Liquors. Wager amount TBD. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Casali Cup teams. If two teams tie the tiebreaker will be who won when the tied teams met head to head.

0-0 RI Colts
0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 StS
0-0 Beasts

Past Winners:
2007: RI Colts
2006: Ambulance Chasers

Casali Cup play will begin in Week 4 when StS meets the defending cup holder RI Colts.

-CHAMPIONS CUP

A conference style competition, for past winners of the CFFL Championship. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Champions Cup teams.

0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 Donkey Punchers
0-0 Brown B-Rads

It is the inaugural season for the Champions Cup


YANKEES
Mike lost twenty to me because the Yankees are not going to make the playoffs.


-NL EAST
John bet me 50 bucks the Mets win the division. I say the Phightin Phils take it.

Philly is currently up 2.5 games! Looking good!


3) Heroes

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors (Week 2)
146.80 - Ambulance Chasers vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 2)
146.35 - Leg Sweepers vs. StS (Week 2)
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts (Week 3)
137.90 - Donkey Punchers vs StS (Week 1)
136.00 - Stratt Men (Week 3)
133.50 - JGR vs TTB (Week 2)

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors (Week 3)
40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts (Week 2)
38.00 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
37.80 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men (Week 3)
36.10 - Jay Cutler - StS (Week 2)
35.60 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers (Week 1)
32.60 - TJ Houshmdhfkhehfagfdeh -Ambulance Chasers (Week 3)
31.80 - Willie Parker - RI Colts (Week 1)
34.30 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers (Week 2)
32.85 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads (Week 2)
32.10 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men (Week 2)
30.90 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
30.90 - Calvin Johnson - Spread Eagles (Week 2)

MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
84.20 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men
81.90 - Jay Cutler - StS
80.20 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads
77.20 - Marion Barber - JGR
74.80 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers
72.20 - Frank Gore - SK Warriors
69.80 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers
69.70 - Drew Brees - Spread Eagles
68.10 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts
67.30 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men
65.90 - Matt Forte -Stratt Men


4) Stars

STARS OF THE WEEK (Star #1 = 3 stars, #2 = 2 stars, #3 = 1 star)

STAR #1: 42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors
STAR #2: 37.80 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men
STAR #3: 32.60 -TJ Houshmdhfkhehfagfdeh -Ambulance Chasers


STAR LEADERS (Most stars at the end of of the season is the MVP)

5 Brandon Marshall
5 Michael Turner

3 Marion Barber
3 Anquan Boldin
3 Reggie Bush
3 FWP
3 Brian Westbrook

2 TJ Houshyomommakfhjefafdflhdah
2 Clinton Portis
2 LT

1 Ronnie Brown
1 Plaxico Burress
1 Chris Chambers
1 Jay Cutler
1 Donald Driver
1 Frank Gore
1 Ike Hilliard
1 DeSean Jackson
1 Steven Jackson
1 Greg Jennings
1 Andre Johnson
1 Calvin Johnson
1 Larry Johnson
1 Marshawn Lynch
1 Darren McFadden
1 Donovan McNabb
1 Santana Moss
1 Adrian Peterson
1 Phillip Rivers
1 Fred Taylor
1 Hines Ward
1 Reggie Wayne
1 Kellen Winslow
1 Jason Witten

TEAM STARS FROM "THE U" THIS WEEK
Clinton Portis

TEAM STARS FROM MARYLAND THIS WEEK


5) Zeroes (players who started and scored no points

Terry - Patrick Crayton
Steve - Ronald Curry
Ben - NE DEF

6) The JGR Memorial Almost Heroes (WRs and RBs who did not start and scored 20+ points)

Tom - Brandon Lloyd
Joe - Antonio Bryant
Joe - Steve Slaton
Joe - Julius Jones
Terry - Rudi Johnson
Al - Correll Buckhalter
John - Le'Ron McClain

7) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)

Al - Brian Westbrook INJURY
Al - Chris Johnson
John - David Patten
John - Chester Taylor
George - Big Ben
George - Andre Johnson
George - Michael Bush
Rice - TO
Rice - Ray Rice Rice Rice Rice
Vinny - Donovan McNabb
Vinny - Bryant Johnson
Vinny - Darren McFadden
Terry - Sammy Morris
Brad - Brandon Jacobs
Brad - Earnest Graham
Mike - Darren Sproles
Pat - Ryan Grant
Joe - Jon Kitna
Tom - Brandon Jones
Tom - FWP INJURY
Steve - Michael Jenkins
Jay - Derek Anderson
Jay - Thomas Jones

8) Haiku of the Week


9) Video of the Week