Ambulance Chasers Fantasy Sports: Manager of the Year: Just About Where You Finish?

by Pat Sweeney

When it comes to manager of the year there is basically two schools of thought: the manager who led his team to victory in the World Series or the manager who did the most for his team given the circumstances. By looking at the head to head total statistics and applying Eaglemetrics® it was interesting to note that the teams basically finished according to their respective rankings. The method applied is adding where each team stood in the offensive and pitching categories (i.e. adding all the rankings for pitching and offense and coming up with a lump [insert joke here] sum).

For example, Stump killed the offensive categories ranking 2nd, 1st, 1st, 3rd and 2nd in Runs, HR’s, RBI’s, Steals and OBP respectively. While RI Colts smoked the pitching categories placing 1st, 2nd, 2nd, 1st and 1st in Wins, K’s, Saves, ERA and Whip respectively. Which begs the question, did these two teams set themselves up in this way in order to give the other brother/manager the edge in the playoffs? This question, unfortunately, will remain unanswered. However, these two teams are terribly lopsided. Only offense and only pitching. Bad news until the two week playoff, which at first glance would seem to be a 5-5 tie. The most balanced teams were the Smelly Spics and Spread Eagles having a +/- 2 differential in offense and pitching.

Overall, statistically the Donkey Punchers, had the best team at 38 points, followed closely by the Smelly Spics at 40 and the RI Colts at 41. Next group were Ambulance Chasers at 4, Stump and Hajji tied at 5, Spread Eagles at 7, Rainbows at 8, and Mezak and Dave obviously 9 and 10 at a whopping 79 and 80 points. (sidenote I was extremely pleased with my preseason predictions Spics and Rainbows 1a and 1b, Punchers at 3 and Eagles, Colts and Stump in no specific order). Rainbows were without Crawford and Hafner, two pivotal pieces of his team and then lost Conteras the day he acquired him. Unfortunately, I was sitting next to John when this happened and I actually saw his championship flash right before his eyes. Similarly the Eagles were without Wells and Lowell while the Chasers were without Papi for a good stretch of the season. Over the course of a 22 week season, 8-12 week injuries are devastating to a team. Obviously the power numbers were severely affected.

Interestingly enough, the Punchers and Spics lost a close semi-final game. In the quarter finals, the Eagles were two RBI away from playing the Spics. There the Spics would have won 6-4 and faced Stump in the finals. The Spics really were snake bitten again after only needing one win and 10 k’s from his 3 studs and Rogers. And we all know what happened last year. Unfortunately this was Brad’s year to win.

Now coming full circle, who really deserves to win Manager of the Year. Though Stump and RI Colts are both in the finals, I cannot vote for either. If you manage either of these teams and you are serious about making a push, you make a trade acquiring some offense or pitching. Both managers sat on their hands as the trade deadline passed. Now if you look at rating a manager from day 1, you have to crown either the Donkey Punchers, Smelly Spics, Spread Eagles, Ambulance Chasers, Rainbows and Hajji Bombs. DP’s grabbed sac and basically bought the championship acquiring Pena and Hunter (I still don’t know how this happened). The Spics and Eagles were cash strapped and made some savvy moves preseason knowing they were not going to be able to buy anyone at the draft. Rainbows almost made it with their “I love crappy pitcher” strategy. While the Chasers and Bombs patched up their holes nicely.

Then came the trade deadline. Again the DP’ers came out looking good for teams acquiring talent. The Spics, Rainbows, and Bombs also made a push. The Eagles and Chasers shored up their minor league systems with some nice moves. The Eagles looked good here selling and still making the playoffs.

Concluding, and it pains me to do this…My vote goes to Donkey Punchers, followed by the Smelly Spics and then the Spread Eagles (I would have put the Chasers or Bombs here if they made the playoffs).