WEEKLY REVIEW: WEEK 4

Player of the week: Grandma-ma

1) Matchups

THE AMBULANCE CHASERS vs TTB
Chasers win despite Brad trying to fix the game with his waiver wire/Lance Moore bullshit
114.00-103.80
Team Stars
Chasers: Jerricho Cotchery (22.70)
TTB: Lance Moore (29.10)


I foolishly traded for Derek Anderson - I had to in order to make room to pick up a kicker! - AND I weathered the Lance Moore storm and came out on the other side victorious. In other good news, Shockme is supposed to be back for week 6, Chris Johnson is a stud and my WRs are awesome.

This thing was a hell of a lot closer than I wanted or hoped. In fact, all week I had said I expected Dunuvan to get Vinny 35 points... which made me shit my pants when I saw that I went into the Sunday Night game up 34.3. It all looked like God was setting me up for a nice kick in the nuts. Thanfully your friendly neighborhood Ambulance Chasers pulled it out, going to 3-1 with the second highest point total. Looking good!


SK WARRIORS vs. SPANK IT BOYZ
Boyz win the "Terry is for real but he'll probably never know Ive been saying he's for real because we're all pretty sure he can't use a computer except to buy used ATVs or fishing poles or shit" Bowl
125.45-114.35
Team Stars
Warriors: Larry Fitzgerald (20.20)
Boyz: Lav Coles (36.50)

As I looked over this game, one thought occured to me: Who the hell is Mike Tolbert?


JGR vs. THE STRATT MEN
John wins the "Last and Next Guys to Get Engaged, What a Couple of Fairies Bowl"
130.60-113.20
Team Stars
Rainbows: Edgerrin James (25.60)
Men: Santana Moss (22.50)

An all-Hurricane Team Stars game... well done, gentlemen. Is it possible Santana Moss is going to be CFFL MVP?

Couldnt get the job done on Monday...

THE BROWN B-RADS vs. THE BEASTS
B-Rads win the "Don't worry, nobody is going undefeated Bowl"
149.40-93.65
Team Stars
B-Rads: Greg Jennings (28.90)
Beasts: Brandon Marshall (20.70)

No word of a lie: George was holding out hope that Big Ben was going for 50 points on MNF. Sucker. Burnt. I dont know if GY is the best of the 1-3 teams... but man, he has a lot of talented players we'd all like on our teams and he's just not putting up W's.

I was wrong about Brad's receivers, clearly. I still dont love Derrick Mason, but he's gonna get used. Dwayne Bowe is pretty much the only option on that team and Greg Jennings is a legit WR1. There was a lot of risk to this group, but they all saw upticks in their value - not thanks to any move by Brad, but only because of injuries or changes in the situations of other players. Meanwhile Ernie Graham is a good option and APete is special. Rivers and Scheffler are excellent options he hit on, too, so he looks like a legit title contender, if not the favorite. Shockingly, the last three winners (Me, Brad and Joe) appear to have the three best teams at this point.

Sweep the leg Johnny!

SPREAD EAGLES vs. THE LEG SWEEPERS
Sweepers win the "Good Team Having Disappointing Weeks" Bowl
107.00-92.45
Eagles: Drew Brees (30.15)
Sweepers: Anquan Boldin (27.90)

Thanks for putting me in second place, Rice. Pat's big mistake? Starting three Buffalo Bills. Pushed your luck, buddy.

Lets Gooooooo Buf-a-lo!

Who the hell is Devin Thomas??


RI COLTS vs. StS
Stump wins the "Casali Brothers Classic"
128.65-91.15
Team Stars
Colts: Larry Johnson (36.80)
Stumps: Steven Jackson (29.80)

Those two stars make me laugh. What do they have in common? They both looked like the #1 overall pick a year and a half ago, they both were highly touted coming into the season, they both sucked it up for the first three weeks and they both will probably suck again next week.

Mike pulls into an early lead in Casali Cup play, handing the Cup holder a painful early loss. By no means damning, but it hurts a lot. This was also a big blow to Tom's playoff chances. Both these teams desperately need to turn their seasons around in the next couple of weeks.


GOODFELLAS vs. DONKEY PUNCHERS
Punchers win the "Trash Talkers" Bowl
125.10-98.65
Team Stars
Fellas: LT (25.50)
Punchers: DeSean Jackson (21.60)

I swear, if I had known he was going to start Pierre Thomas against Joe I never would have traded him to him. Pretty sure he got the best out of that stupid fucking trade anyway. Im an idiot and David Gayrard can go fuck himself.

I havent heard anyone really note it yet, but DeSean Jackson must be having one of the greatest seasons by a rookie WR ever. Rookie WRs never do shit. Jackson's 4 games in the NFL so far look like this:

Week 1- vsSTL: 6 rec, 106 yds
Week 2-@DAL: 6 rec, 110 yds
Week 3-vsPIT: 5 rec, 40 yds
Week 4-@CHI: 5 rec, 71 yds, TD

Now, the two things we should bear in mind are that Philly uses lots of WRs and spreads the ball around and also that Jackson has faced 3 really goof defenses (PIT, @DAL, @CHI).

Jackson is on pace right now for 88 rec and 1308 yds. What did Randy Moss do in his rookie season (the best ever by a rookie WR)? 69 rec and 1313 yds. Of course, Moss had 17 TDs, but Jackson is still damn impressive.


2) Bets

-CASALI LIQUORS CUP

A conference style competition, for anyone who works or who has worked at Casali Liquors. Wager amount TBD. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Casali Cup teams. If two teams tie the tiebreaker will be who won when the tied teams met head to head.

1-0 StS
0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 Beasts
0-1 RI Colts

Past Winners:
2007: RI Colts
2006: Ambulance Chasers

The Beasts and Colts match up this week. This is a must win game for Tom if he wants to retain the Cup.

The America's Cup: Not as cool as our cup.

-CHAMPIONS CUP

A conference style competition, for past winners of the CFFL Championship. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Champions Cup teams.

0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 Donkey Punchers
0-0 Brown B-Rads

It is the inaugural season for the Champions Cup


-YANKEES
Mike lost twenty to me because the Yankees are not going to make the playoffs.


-NL EAST
John bet 50 bucks that the Mets would win the NL East, I said the Phillies would take it. Im 2 for 2 on baseball bets this year!


3) Heroes

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
149.40- Brown B-Rads vs Beasts

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
38.45 - Brett Favre - StS - ON HIS BENCH!!
36.80 - Larry Johnson - RI Colts

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors (Week 2)
149.40 - Brown B-Rads vs Beasts (Week 4)
146.80 - Ambulance Chasers vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 2)
146.35 - Leg Sweepers vs. StS (Week 2)
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts (Week 3)
137.90 - Donkey Punchers vs StS (Week 1)
136.00 - Stratt Men (Week 3)
133.50 - JGR vs TTB (Week 2)

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors (Week 3)
40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts (Week 2)
38.45 - Brett Favre - StS - (Week 4) ON HIS BENCH!!
38.00 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
37.80 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men (Week 3)
36.80 - Larry Johnson - RI Colts (Week 4)
36.50 - Lav Coles - Spank It Boyz (Week 4)
36.10 - Jay Cutler - StS (Week 2)
35.60 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers (Week 1)
32.60 - TJ Houshmdhfkhehfagfdeh -Ambulance Chasers (Week 3)
31.80 - Willie Parker - RI Colts (Week 1)
34.30 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers (Week 2)
32.85 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads (Week 2)
32.10 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men (Week 2)
31.60 - Kurt Warner - Leg Sweepers (Week 4)
30.90 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
30.90 - Calvin Johnson - Spread Eagles (Week 2)

MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
104.55 - Jay Cutler - StS
99.75 - Drew Brees - Spread Eagles
96.20 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads
96.05 - Brett Favre - StS
93.60 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers
93.10 - Kurt Warner - Leg Sweepers
93.00 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men
91.85 - Aaron Rodgers - GOODFELLAS
91.60 - Tony Romo - JGR
89.80 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men

Kurt Warner sucks,
and DEAR GOD Lavarnuyeajes Coles is ugly.

4) Stars

STARS OF THE WEEK (Star #1 = 3 stars, #2 = 2 stars, #3 = 1 star)

STAR #1: 36.80 - Larry Johnson - RI Colts
STAR #2: 36.50 - Lav Coles - Spank It Boyz
STAR #3: 31.60 - Kurt Warner -Leg Sweepers


STAR LEADERS (Most stars at the end of of the season is the MVP)

6 Brandon Marshall

5 Larry Johnson
5 Michael Turner

4 Anquan Boldin
4 Lav Coles

3 Marion Barber
3 Reggie Bush
3 FWP
3 LT
3 Brian Westbrook

2 TJ Houshyomommakfhjefafdflhdah
2 DeSean Jackson
2 Steven Jackson
2 Greg Jennings
2 Santana Moss
2 Clinton Portis

1 Ronnie Brown
1 Drew Brees
1 Plaxico Burress
1 Chris Chambers
1 Jerricho Cotchery
1 Jay Cutler
1 Donald Driver
1 Larry Fitzgerald
1 Frank Gore
1 Ike Hilliard
1 Edgerrin James
1 Andre Johnson
1 Calvin Johnson
1 Marshawn Lynch
1 Darren McFadden
1 Donovan McNabb
1 Lance Moore
1 Adrian Peterson
1 Phillip Rivers
1 Fred Taylor
1 Hines Ward
1 Kurt Warner
1 Reggie Wayne
1 Kellen Winslow
1 Jason Witten

TEAM STARS FROM "THE U" THIS WEEK
Edgerrin James
Santana Moss

TEAM STARS FROM MARYLAND THIS WEEK

Durr... Me pitch for Yankees

On a side note, I think its amazing they found
a bowl big enough to give him haircuts

5) Zeroes (players who started and scored no points

Bryant Johnson - Vinny
Todd Heap - Ben
Jerramy Stevens - George
James Hardy - Pat
Devin Thomas - Rice
JAX DEF - Rice

Banging Madonna in 1990: Awesome
Banging Madonna in 2008: Totally Gay
Banging ARod EVER: Totally Gay

6) The JGR Memorial Almost Heroes (WRs and RBs who did not start and scored 20+ points)

Muhsin Muhammed - Terry
Steve Slaton - Joe
Ken Walter - John

7) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)

Al - Derek Anderson (12.00)
Al - Chris Perry (9.30)
Vinny - Ike Hilliard (4.10)
Vinny - LenWhale (7.30)
George - Ben Roethlisfdhfkjfger (13.85)
George - Jerry Porter (1.60)
George - MJD (6.90)
Tom - Donald Driver (1.80)
Tom - Ronald Curry (2.10)
Tom - R Mendenhall (4.60) INJURY
Mike - Willis McGahee (9.10) PREDICTABLE INJURY
Steve - Hank Baskett (2.00)
Steve - Mike Tolbert (3.50)
Terry - Selvin Young (4.90)
Pat - Ryan Grant (4.00)
Rice - Fred Taylor (7.60)
Rice - Thomas Jones (8.90)
Jay - Chansi Stuckey (3.20)
Jay - Pierre Thomas (0.10)
Joe - Michael Turner (6.60)

8) Haiku of the Week

Review sucked last week
Computer now good as new
Chasers still awesome

9) Videos of the Week

2007:


2008:

WEEKLY REVIEW: WEEK 3

No pictures for now - windows update has messed up my computer and now vista won't start. I hope to have it fixed tomorrow. I loaded this from my laptop, but its too much of a pain in the ass to do the pictures from this computer...

1) Matchups

THE AMBULANCE CHASERS vs JGR
Chasers win the "Game of the Week"
126.95-109.80
Team Stars
Chasers: TJ Houshmdfkfhjefafdflhdah (32.60)
Rainbows: Marion Barber (24.70)

This game's final score is deceivingly close. Brian Westbrook left the game after a couple carries and twelve yards. That's 1.2 points. His backup went on to 20+ points. I think its a pretty reasonable assumption BWest could have matched that, if not improve on it.

Sadly, John had to be a dick and scored JUST ENOUGH to sit a fraction of a point ahead of me after the Sunday night game. I had one player on MNF while JGR had none, meaning that a single catch would end it. JerricHERO Cotchery didnt create any suspense and caught a ball for 6 yards on the first play of the game.


THE BEASTS vs THE LEG SWEEPERS
Breasts win the "Battle of the Great WR Corps"
126.15-95.40
Team Stars
Breasts: Brandon Marshall (27.50)
Sweepers: Fred Taylor (15.00)

Out of 6 supposedly great WRs only one impressed: Brandon Marshall. A lot of poor performances here, but George carries the day on the backs of BMarsh and MJD.

TTB vs. SPANK IT BOYZ
Teabaggers win the "$50 bet bowl"
100.90-80.60
Team Stars
Baggers: Ike Hilliard (Really. 17.70)
Boyz: Clinton Portis (16.70)

Ugly match. Maybe instead of paying the bet you guys could just donate the $50 bones to charity. What the hell happened to Patrick Crayton? How can you be in that offense and not catch shit? Each week Ive sent Tito a trade for him... dont wait by your computer this week, pal.

THE BROWN B-RADS vs. STS
B-rads win the "CFBLCS Rematch Bowl"
115.80-87.70
Team Stars
B-Rads: Greg Jennings (19.50)
StS: Steven Jackson (17.80)

Brad revenges himself on Mike for getting knocked out in the baseball playoffs. Please, Mike, stop playing Vernon Davis already! If you had got reasonable alternatives to Davis and the Colts defense you might have beaten this loser. You damn well know the Colts DEF wasnt going to do well against the Jags...

Earnest Graham... uh-oh. This reminds me... bye weeks start this upcoming week. This will separate the men from the boys. Its a whole different game now. Its like how baseball turns into a completely different game when it gets hot out and the ball starts flying out of the park. I think the Donkey Punchers are helped the most.

THE SPREAD EAGLES vs. THE DONKEY PUNCHERS
Eagles win the "Battle of the Undefeateds" 125.85-122.50
Team Stars
Spreads: Marshawn Lynch (27.40)
Donkeys: Michael Turner (28.40)

Came down to Sunday night... but was never really in doubt as Joe was clinging to a very slim lead with no players remaining.

Most of the games this week had a lot of up and down performances and this game was no different. 48 combined points from the defenses, too.

RI COLTS vs. SK WARRIORS
Warriors win 138.25-86.60
Team Stars
Colts: Larry Johnson (18.10)
Warriors: Ronnie Brown (42.15)

Tom must have known he was in for a bad week when he saw the Dolphins were playing the Patriots. Fortunately for him the Fins slowed up at the end and Ronnie Brown only totaled 42 points. Between Gore and Brown the week was over before it began... sort of like New England's season!


THE GOODFELLAS vs. THE STRATT MEN
Stratt Men win 136.00-95.35
Team Stars
Fellas: LT (23.70)
Men: Reggie Bush (37.80)

This was another game where a couple of hot running backs were the difference. Matt Forte and Reggie Bush are pretty ridiculous... imagine if Ben still had Tom Brady to go with them?? Ben's team is not bad right now... decent chance at playoffs.

3) Bets


-CASALI LIQUORS CUP

A conference style competition, for anyone who works or who has worked at Casali Liquors. Wager amount TBD. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Casali Cup teams. If two teams tie the tiebreaker will be who won when the tied teams met head to head.

0-0 RI Colts
0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 StS
0-0 Beasts

Past Winners:
2007: RI Colts
2006: Ambulance Chasers

Casali Cup play will begin in Week 4 when StS meets the defending cup holder RI Colts.

-CHAMPIONS CUP

A conference style competition, for past winners of the CFFL Championship. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Champions Cup teams.

0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 Donkey Punchers
0-0 Brown B-Rads

It is the inaugural season for the Champions Cup


YANKEES
Mike lost twenty to me because the Yankees are not going to make the playoffs.


-NL EAST
John bet me 50 bucks the Mets win the division. I say the Phightin Phils take it.

Philly is currently up 2.5 games! Looking good!


3) Heroes

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors (Week 2)
146.80 - Ambulance Chasers vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 2)
146.35 - Leg Sweepers vs. StS (Week 2)
138.25 - SK Warriors vs. RI Colts (Week 3)
137.90 - Donkey Punchers vs StS (Week 1)
136.00 - Stratt Men (Week 3)
133.50 - JGR vs TTB (Week 2)

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors (Week 3)
40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts (Week 2)
38.00 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
37.80 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men (Week 3)
36.10 - Jay Cutler - StS (Week 2)
35.60 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers (Week 1)
32.60 - TJ Houshmdhfkhehfagfdeh -Ambulance Chasers (Week 3)
31.80 - Willie Parker - RI Colts (Week 1)
34.30 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers (Week 2)
32.85 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads (Week 2)
32.10 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men (Week 2)
30.90 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
30.90 - Calvin Johnson - Spread Eagles (Week 2)

MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
84.20 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men
81.90 - Jay Cutler - StS
80.20 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads
77.20 - Marion Barber - JGR
74.80 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers
72.20 - Frank Gore - SK Warriors
69.80 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers
69.70 - Drew Brees - Spread Eagles
68.10 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts
67.30 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men
65.90 - Matt Forte -Stratt Men


4) Stars

STARS OF THE WEEK (Star #1 = 3 stars, #2 = 2 stars, #3 = 1 star)

STAR #1: 42.15 - Ronnie Brown - SK Warriors
STAR #2: 37.80 - Reggie Bush - Stratt Men
STAR #3: 32.60 -TJ Houshmdhfkhehfagfdeh -Ambulance Chasers


STAR LEADERS (Most stars at the end of of the season is the MVP)

5 Brandon Marshall
5 Michael Turner

3 Marion Barber
3 Anquan Boldin
3 Reggie Bush
3 FWP
3 Brian Westbrook

2 TJ Houshyomommakfhjefafdflhdah
2 Clinton Portis
2 LT

1 Ronnie Brown
1 Plaxico Burress
1 Chris Chambers
1 Jay Cutler
1 Donald Driver
1 Frank Gore
1 Ike Hilliard
1 DeSean Jackson
1 Steven Jackson
1 Greg Jennings
1 Andre Johnson
1 Calvin Johnson
1 Larry Johnson
1 Marshawn Lynch
1 Darren McFadden
1 Donovan McNabb
1 Santana Moss
1 Adrian Peterson
1 Phillip Rivers
1 Fred Taylor
1 Hines Ward
1 Reggie Wayne
1 Kellen Winslow
1 Jason Witten

TEAM STARS FROM "THE U" THIS WEEK
Clinton Portis

TEAM STARS FROM MARYLAND THIS WEEK


5) Zeroes (players who started and scored no points

Terry - Patrick Crayton
Steve - Ronald Curry
Ben - NE DEF

6) The JGR Memorial Almost Heroes (WRs and RBs who did not start and scored 20+ points)

Tom - Brandon Lloyd
Joe - Antonio Bryant
Joe - Steve Slaton
Joe - Julius Jones
Terry - Rudi Johnson
Al - Correll Buckhalter
John - Le'Ron McClain

7) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)

Al - Brian Westbrook INJURY
Al - Chris Johnson
John - David Patten
John - Chester Taylor
George - Big Ben
George - Andre Johnson
George - Michael Bush
Rice - TO
Rice - Ray Rice Rice Rice Rice
Vinny - Donovan McNabb
Vinny - Bryant Johnson
Vinny - Darren McFadden
Terry - Sammy Morris
Brad - Brandon Jacobs
Brad - Earnest Graham
Mike - Darren Sproles
Pat - Ryan Grant
Joe - Jon Kitna
Tom - Brandon Jones
Tom - FWP INJURY
Steve - Michael Jenkins
Jay - Derek Anderson
Jay - Thomas Jones

8) Haiku of the Week


9) Video of the Week

Odds to Win CFFL Championsip: Week 3

DISCLAIMER: Odds for informational purposes only



FILET MIGNON

8/1 - Donkey Punchers - Not a great performance in Week 2... deep roster is coming in handy because his player values are on a rollercoaster right now.
8/1 - Brown B-Rads - Is he for real? I dont know. What I do know is he is 2-0 and has scored the most points. Good enough for me.
8/1 - Ambulance Chasers - Showed what his team can do... and Cotchery, Housh and Shockey havent gone off yet... and they will go off...
8/1 - Leg Sweepers - His RBs kind of suck, but that's old news... Im going to need him to go on a losing streak to convince me he's not for real.
8/1 - Spread Eagles - Megatron, the Bills offense and the Spread Eagles: Three things that are good this year.

Is it possible 5 of the 6 playoff teams have already separated themselves? Probably not... it often looks like this early in the season and then one of favorites gets picked off two weeks in a row and is struggling to stay afloat. Still, rarely have I seen such a huge disparity between the teams that are going well and the teams that are going poorly. The bottom teams are pretty much all the same story... major injury or highly drafted RB turns out to be terrible.


RIB EYE

20/1 - Spank It Boys - His team still hasnt done shit, but he's 2-0. I think he has five more wins in him once Braylon, K2 and Crayton get going.


SIRLOIN

40/1 - Beasts - Gets upgraded because he got a RB2 in Michael Bush... for a few weeks at least. He just better pray that his poor start didnt cost him the playoffs.
45/1 - Stratt Men - Roster looks pretty solid, suddenly...


PHILLY CHEESE STEAK

55/1 - JGR - I still dont like this team, but the rest of you are dropping like flies. He has a decent point total and a win. Basically, just not losing a guy for the year or having a RB become irrelevant will upgrade you at this point.
60/1 - TTB - Reeling without his WRs. I dont really like him any better than the teams below, but I'll give him a little credit for having a win in the bank. Its only takes about 7 wins to make the playoffs...
75/1 - GOODFELLAS - LT is killing him, and the rest of his team doesnt look that strong right now.


QUARTER POUNDER FROM McDONALDS

100/1 - RI Colts - It must suck to have all your team's weaknesses exposed in one week...
100/1 - SK Warriors - Of course, its probably not as bad as having all your team's weaknesses exposed in BOTH weeks so far...
100/1 - StS - I look at this roster and see maybe half a running back I like. The RBs went south quick... and I dont know how you fix it...

MANAGER OF THE YEAR: WEEK 2

What college did the man in the middle "Coach?" +1 MOY points
to the first person to answer in the comments

MANAGER OF THE YEAR RACE

The Scoring System:
+5 Most team points in the week
+5 #1 Star of the week
+3 #2 Star of the week
+1 #3 Star of the week
-3 Zero
-2 Almost Hero
-1 Almost Zero
+7 Team scores more than 200 points
+5 Team scores more than 175 points
+1 Team scores more than 150 points
-3 Team scores less than 80 points
-1 Team scores less than 100 points

Weekly Theme Bonus
+5 Team Star qualifies for theme
-5 Zero qualifies for theme
-2 Almost Hero/Zero qualifies for theme

Week - Theme
1 - ACC
2 - SEC
3 - Big Ten
4 - WRs
5 - Big East
6 - Miami
7 - Maryland
8 - RBs
9 - White Guys
10 - PAC 10
11 - Rookies
12 - Big 12
13 - QBs


STANDINGS
+6 RICE
+3 JOE
+2 VINNY
+1 TERRY
+1 TOM
-1 GEORGE
-3 STEVE
-4 AL
-4 BRAD
-5 PAT
-7 JAY
-8 JOHN
-11 MIKE
-15 BEN


TOM
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Marvin Harrison)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Devery Henderson)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Larry Johnson)
-1 Team scores less than 100 Points (Week 2)
-2 Almost Hero/Zero qualifies for theme (Week 2-Devery Henderson)

JOE
-2 Almost Hero (Week 2-Julius Jones)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Michael Turner)

RICE
+3 #2 Star of the week (Week 2-Anquan Boldin)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Larry Maroney)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Justin Fargas)

VINNY
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Randy Moss)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Logan Payne)
+5 Team Star qualifies for theme (Week 2-Jason Witten)

STEVE
-3 Zero (Week 2-Michael Jenkins)
-3 Zero (Week 2-Ronald Curry)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Carson Palmer)

GEORGE
+5 #1 Star of the week (Week 2-Brandon Marshall)
-3 Zero (Week 2-Anthony Fasano)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Ben Reothlisbadfjfjewlkfafger)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Hank Baskett)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Felix Jones)
-2 Almost Hero/Zero qualifies for theme (Week 2-Felix Jones)

TERRY
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Patrick Crayton)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Selvin Young)
+1 Answered trivia correctly (Answer: Minnesota State Screaming Eagles)

PAT
-3 Zero (Week 2-Owen Daniels)
-2 Almost Hero (Week 2-Anthony Gonzalez)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Ryan Grant)

BRAD
+5 Most team points in the week (Week 2)
-3 Zero (Week 2-Sidney Rice)
-2 Almost Hero (Week 2-Ahmad Bradshaw)
+1 Team scores more than 150 Points (Week 2)
-5 Zero qualifies for theme (Week 2-Sidney Rice)

JAY
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Derek Anderson)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-LT)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Thomas Jones)
-3 Team scores less than 80 Points (Week 2)

AL
+1 #3 Star of the week (Week 2-Brian Westbrook)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Jerricho Cotchery)

BEN
-3 Zero (Week 2-Bernard Berrian)
-3 Zero (Week 2-Todd Heap)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Matt Ryan)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-DJ Hackett)
-1 Team scores less than 100 Points (Week 2)

JOHN
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Edge)

MIKE
-3 Zero (Week 2-Vernon Davis)
-2 Almost Hero (Week 2-Darren Sproles)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Joey Galloway)
-1 Almost Zero (Week 2-Andre Hall)
+5 Team Star qualifies for theme (Week 2-Jay Cutler)


NEXT WEEK'S THEME: THE BIG TEN

Manager of the Year: Just About Where You Finish?

by Pat Sweeney

When it comes to manager of the year there is basically two schools of thought: the manager who led his team to victory in the World Series or the manager who did the most for his team given the circumstances. By looking at the head to head total statistics and applying Eaglemetrics® it was interesting to note that the teams basically finished according to their respective rankings. The method applied is adding where each team stood in the offensive and pitching categories (i.e. adding all the rankings for pitching and offense and coming up with a lump [insert joke here] sum).

For example, Stump killed the offensive categories ranking 2nd, 1st, 1st, 3rd and 2nd in Runs, HR’s, RBI’s, Steals and OBP respectively. While RI Colts smoked the pitching categories placing 1st, 2nd, 2nd, 1st and 1st in Wins, K’s, Saves, ERA and Whip respectively. Which begs the question, did these two teams set themselves up in this way in order to give the other brother/manager the edge in the playoffs? This question, unfortunately, will remain unanswered. However, these two teams are terribly lopsided. Only offense and only pitching. Bad news until the two week playoff, which at first glance would seem to be a 5-5 tie. The most balanced teams were the Smelly Spics and Spread Eagles having a +/- 2 differential in offense and pitching.

Overall, statistically the Donkey Punchers, had the best team at 38 points, followed closely by the Smelly Spics at 40 and the RI Colts at 41. Next group were Ambulance Chasers at 4, Stump and Hajji tied at 5, Spread Eagles at 7, Rainbows at 8, and Mezak and Dave obviously 9 and 10 at a whopping 79 and 80 points. (sidenote I was extremely pleased with my preseason predictions Spics and Rainbows 1a and 1b, Punchers at 3 and Eagles, Colts and Stump in no specific order). Rainbows were without Crawford and Hafner, two pivotal pieces of his team and then lost Conteras the day he acquired him. Unfortunately, I was sitting next to John when this happened and I actually saw his championship flash right before his eyes. Similarly the Eagles were without Wells and Lowell while the Chasers were without Papi for a good stretch of the season. Over the course of a 22 week season, 8-12 week injuries are devastating to a team. Obviously the power numbers were severely affected.

Interestingly enough, the Punchers and Spics lost a close semi-final game. In the quarter finals, the Eagles were two RBI away from playing the Spics. There the Spics would have won 6-4 and faced Stump in the finals. The Spics really were snake bitten again after only needing one win and 10 k’s from his 3 studs and Rogers. And we all know what happened last year. Unfortunately this was Brad’s year to win.

Now coming full circle, who really deserves to win Manager of the Year. Though Stump and RI Colts are both in the finals, I cannot vote for either. If you manage either of these teams and you are serious about making a push, you make a trade acquiring some offense or pitching. Both managers sat on their hands as the trade deadline passed. Now if you look at rating a manager from day 1, you have to crown either the Donkey Punchers, Smelly Spics, Spread Eagles, Ambulance Chasers, Rainbows and Hajji Bombs. DP’s grabbed sac and basically bought the championship acquiring Pena and Hunter (I still don’t know how this happened). The Spics and Eagles were cash strapped and made some savvy moves preseason knowing they were not going to be able to buy anyone at the draft. Rainbows almost made it with their “I love crappy pitcher” strategy. While the Chasers and Bombs patched up their holes nicely.

Then came the trade deadline. Again the DP’ers came out looking good for teams acquiring talent. The Spics, Rainbows, and Bombs also made a push. The Eagles and Chasers shored up their minor league systems with some nice moves. The Eagles looked good here selling and still making the playoffs.

Concluding, and it pains me to do this…My vote goes to Donkey Punchers, followed by the Smelly Spics and then the Spread Eagles (I would have put the Chasers or Bombs here if they made the playoffs).


MOY
1st Joe Martins
2nd Brad Arbige
3rd Pat Sweeney

MVP
1st Hamilton
2nd Morneau
3rd A-Rod

3 busts for next year
Huff
Quentin
Lee

WEEKLY REVIEW: WEEK 2

1) Matchups

THE AMBULANCE CHASERS vs THE GOODFELLAS
Chasers win the "Double Up Bowl"
146.80-72.60
Team Stars
Chasers: Brian Westbrook (34.30)
Fellas: Chris Chambers (24.30)

A great win and a great point total from me in Week 2. Is Brian Westbrook the best RB in Fantasy Football? The best part was this total came with minimal help from Housh and Cotchery. Housh was again the victim of terrible QB play while Cotchery was taken away from Favre by the Pats defense.

A big loss for Jay... Chambers was his only player to break double digits. He still scored 72, so if LT had put up 25 this wouldnt look THAT bad... but the trend is not good.

Brian Westbrook: You all have a mancrush on him

THE BROWN B-RADS vs. THE SK WARRIORS
No-Nads win the "Taber Street Derby"
157.45-103.30
Nads: Phillip Rivers (32.85)
Warriors: Darren McFadden (24.30)

Impressive effort from Brad. I eagerly await his evaluation of my odds this week. Scheffler looks very good. Having two players in that high scoring, crazy game sure helped. He's one WR short, but he's still a contender as he stands now... just a boom or bust one who could put up a great week or a lousy week very quickly.

Steve's RBs are better than I thought... but man, those WRs are a problem.


RI COLTS vs. SPANK IT BOYZ
Boyz win the "Winning Ugly Bowl"
115.55-87.45
Team Stars
Colts: Donald Driver (18.20)
Boyz: Clinton Portis (23.90)

The lack of WRs reared its ugly head for many teams this week. I like Terry's team more and more. Crayton has been a dissapointment, as has Edwards... but I like them a lot going forward. We may have our first early pick bust of the year in Larry Johnson. No production? Check. Complaining? Check. Taken out on passing downs? Check. Team is terrible? Check. Offense sputtering? Check. Coach talking about having the get the backup RB more involved? Check. All the elements of a RB catastrophe are present. Then again, I didnt like the pick when he made it. Should have just taken the safe thing with Marshawn Lynch like he originally planned.


StS vs. LEG SWEEPERS
Sweepers win the "The two CFBL World Series teams are 0-4 combined in CFFL play! Bowl"
146.35-106.50
Team Stars
StS: Jay Cutler (36.10)
Sweepers: Anquan Boldin (38.00)

You just cant win starting Andre Hall. Vernon Davis looks like he's useless. We had heard that Martz doesnt like to use tight ends in his offenses... SO GLAD I stayed away from this guy. So we have a team with two good WRs and one good RB on a terrible team... On the upside I do love Jay Cutler.

Rice has the best WRs hands down and it is going to carry him to the playoffs. 23.90 from TO. 20.30 from Reggie Wayne. 38 from Anquan Boldin. 146.35 points and what did he get from his RBs? 1.60 and 4.30. Ridiculous. He might want to consider sitting his RBs so he doesnt lose MOY points.


THE BEASTS vs. THE DONKEY PUNCHERS
Punchers win the "Game of the Week"
110.00-101.30
Team Stars
Beasts: Brandon Marshall (40.60)
Punchers: DeSean Jackson (17.00)

A Monday Night Football thriller. DeSean Jackson is some kind of idiot... or is he? One theory is he was just fucking with George. Stringing him out. Joe had the victory in hand but rather than put the game away he threw the ball away at the one. Keeping George's hopes alive... just cruel. That play was hilarious, though.

Quite a hole George has dug for himself.

DeSean Jackson is some kind of idiot (see video of the week)

SPREAD EAGLES vs. THE STRATT MEN
Eagles win the "Battle of the Bye Week Tight Ends"
109.90-90.60
Team Stars
Eagles: Calvin Johnson (30.90)
Men: Santana Moss (32.10)

Both these teams started tight ends on their bye weeks... Good work, boys. Calvin Johnson looks like the #1WR in Detroit. Paging Ryan Grant... Ryan Grant, will you be showing up this year?


JGR vs TTB
JGR wins the "As the Cowboys go, so goes JGR Bowl"
133.50-100.95
Team Stars
JGR: Marion Barber (27.40)
TTB: Jason Witten (18.00)

The nightmare scenario played out for Vinny's wideouts. 16.60 points combined. He played the Whale and Brandon Jackson and actually got Touchdowns from both. John appears to have five or six receivers who are incapable of breaking out but in any given week are good for 3-6 receptions and 50-85 yards. I really love the Barbarian this year, and betwee him and Romo and the consistent but not spectacular players that fill out the roster, John will pick off a number of teams this year.


3) Bets


-CASALI LIQUORS CUP

A conference style competition, for anyone who works or who has worked at Casali Liquors. Wager amount TBD. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Casali Cup teams. If two teams tie the tiebreaker will be who won when the tied teams met head to head.

0-0 RI Colts
0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 StS
0-0 Beasts

Past Winners:
2007: RI Colts
2006: Ambulance Chasers


-CHAMPIONS CUP

A conference style competition, for past winners of the CFFL Championship. Cup awarded to the team with the best record against other Champions Cup teams.

0-0 Ambulance Chasers
0-0 Donkey Punchers
0-0 Brown B-Rads

It is the inaugural season for the Champions Cup


YANKEES
Mike lost twenty to me because the Yankees are not going to make the playoffs.


-NL EAST
John bet me 50 bucks the Mets win the division. I say the Phightin Phils take it.


3) Heroes

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts

MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
157.45 - Brown B-Rads vs. SK Warriors (Week 2)
146.80 - Ambulance Chasers vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 2)
146.35 - Leg Sweepers vs. StS (Week 2)
137.90 - Donkey Punchers vs StS (Week 1)
133.50 - JGR vs TTB (Week 2)

MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts (Week 2)
38.00 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
36.10 - Jay Cutler - StS (Week 2)
35.60 - Michael Turner - Donkey Punchers (Week 1)
31.80 - Willie Parker - RI Colts (Week 1)
34.30 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers (Week 2)
32.85 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads (Week 2)
32.10 - Santana Moss - Stratt Men (Week 2)
30.90 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers (Week 2)
30.90 - Calvin Johnson - Spread Eagles (Week 2)

MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
60.00 - Jay Cutler - StS
57.50 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers
55.70 - Phillip Rivers - Brown B-Rads
54.20 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers
53.30 - Aaron Rodgers - Leg Sweepers
52.50 - Marion Barber - JGR
50.40 - Donovan McNabb - TTB
48.60 - Calvin Johnson - Spread Eagles
47.60 - Tony Homo - JGR
47.20 - Eddie Royal - Donkey Punchers


4) Stars

STARS OF THE WEEK (Star #1 = 3 stars, #2 = 2 stars, #3 = 1 star)

STAR #1: 40.60 - Brandon Marshall - Beasts
STAR #2: 38.00 - Anquan Boldin - Leg Sweepers
STAR #3: 34.30 - Brian Westbrook - Ambulance Chasers


STAR LEADERS (Most stars at the end of of the season is the MVP)

4 Brandon Marshall
4 Michael Turner

3 Anquan Boldin
3 FWP
3 Brian Westbrook

2 Marion Barber
2 Reggie Bush

1 Plaxico Burress
1 Chris Chambers
1 Jay Cutler
1 Donald Driver
1 Frank Gore
1 DeSean Jackson
1 Andre Johnson
1 Calvin Johnson
1 Darren McFadden
1 Donovan McNabb
1 Santana Moss
1 Adrian Peterson
1 Clinton Portis
1 Phillip Rivers
1 LT
1 Hines Ward
1 Reggie Wayne
1 Kellen Winslow
1 Jason Witten


TEAM STARS FROM "THE U" THIS WEEK
Clinton Portis
Santana Moss

TEAM STARS FROM MARYLAND THIS WEEK

Leon Lett

5) Zeroes (players who started and scored no points

Brad - Sidney Rice INJURY
Steve - Michael Jenkins
Steve - Ronald Curry
Mike - Vernon Davis
George - Anthony Fasano
Pat - Owen Daniels
Ben - Bernard Berrian
Ben - Todd Heap

That... is a lot of zeroes...


6) The JGR Memorial Almost Heroes (WRs and RBs who did not start and scored 20+ points)

Brad - Ahmad Bradshaw
Mike - Darren Sproles
Joe - Julius Jones
Pat - Anthony Gonzalez


7) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)

Al - Jerricho Cotchery (3.00)
Jay - Derek Anderson (8.90)
Jay - Ted Ginn, Jr. (1.90)
Jay - LT (6.00)
Jay - Thomas Jones (9.50)
Steve - Carson Palmer (6.70)
Tom - Marvin Harrison (2.60)
Tom - Devery Henderson (2.60)
Tom - Larry Johnson (2.20)
Terry - Patrick Crayton (4.30)
Terry - Selvin Young (9.60)
Mike - Joey Galloway (3.80)
Mike - Andre Hall (3.10)
Rice - Larry Maroney (1.60)
Rice - Justin Fargas (4.30) INJURY
George - Ben Roethlifasfvklhhjeger (13.30)
George - Hank Baskett (3.00)
George - Felix Jones (1.00)
Joe - Michael Turner (5.80)
Pat - Ryan Grant (2.00)
Ben - Matt Ryan (8.90)
Ben - DJ Hackett (3.20)
John - Edge (6.50)
Vinny - Randy Moss (4.20)
Vinny - Logan Payne (2.40) INJURY

8) Haiku of the Week

Chasers draw even
Has anyone seen LT?
Brandon Marshall - SICK


9) Video of the Week

Incredibly, DeSean Jackson is a repeat offender, and was already a member of the Leon Lett club... take a look at this footage from his high school all star game:

VOTE: CFBL Manager of the Year and CFBL MVP

All managers of CFBL teams are eligible to vote. You may leave your vote in the comments below this post, or email me at alskor@aol.com, text them to me, or leave them on either the football or baseball message boards. You do not need to vote. Votes must be received by Wednesday September 17th.

1) CFBL Manager of the Year

Please choose three, in order -
1st: _________
2nd: _________
3rd: _________

Brad Arbige (Smelly Spics)
Mike Casali (StS)
Tom Casali (RI Colts)
Steve Kelsch (Hajji Bombs)
Joe Martins (Donkey Punchers)
John Rossi (JGR)
Pat Sweeney (Spread Eagles)




2) CFBL Most Valuable Player

Please choose three, in order -
1st: _________
2nd: _________
3rd: _________

NAME (TEAM) R-HR-RBI-SB-OBP, W-SV-K-ERA-WHIP
Jermaine Dye (RI Colts) 90-32-88-3-.348
Roy Halladay (Donkey Punchers) 18-0-198-2.77-1.05
Josh Hamilton (Smelly Spics) 90-31-124-9-.370
Aubrey Huff (StS) 94-31-104-4-.370
Cliff Lee (RI Colts) 22-0-157-2.36-1.06
Justin Morneau (Smelly Spics) 92-23-124-0-.386
Jonathan Papelbon (JGR) 5-38-72-2.11-0.92
Carlos Quentin (Hajji Bombs) 96-36-100-7-.394
Alexis Rios (JGR) 89-14-73-30-.340
Alex Rodriguez (StS) 101-34-100-17-.397
Francisco Rodriguez (Hajji Bombs) 2-58-74-2.38-1.27
Grady Sizemore (StS) 91-31-87-37-.378

Chasers go back to the World Series!!!!! Three-peat???

The Ambulance Chasers have rewarded their fans yet again with a trip to the World Series in Casali Fantasy Baseball League. The Chasers will be trying to defend their title from last year, and in fact going for the three-peat! Experts believe they have an excellent chance of defending their title.



"Its just gratifying to be able to compete for a World Championship every year" said Kevin Youkilis. The celebration went long into the night and fans gathered together in the streets.

The run to the World Series was especially impressive this season, as first round pick Victor Martinez missed pretty much the entire year and was ineffective when he did play (1 HR). The team also lost second round pick and MVP candidate Ian Kinsler for the season. Yet, the Chasers would not be denied! They will be seeking their third Casali Baseball title, their fifth fantasy baseball title and their sixth overall title.

Odds to Win CFFL Championsip: Week 2

DISCLAIMER: Odds for informational purposes only


SUPERMAN

6/1 - Donkey Punchers - The Champs looked great. Michael Turner, DeSean Jackson and Eddie Royal are three guys who blew up in Week 1.
6/1 - Spread Eagles - Looked solid and got a nice win. His WRs all gained value and they were his only question mark.
8/1 - Ambulance Chasers - Painful loss in Week 1, but still stacked with talent. RB2 was the only question mark and Chris Johnson and Chris Henry saw both their stocks rise.

BATMAN

18/1 - Leg Sweepers - RBs look a little more solid, but nothing to write home about. Still might be enough with those WRs.
20/1 - Spank It Boyz - Looked good, but RB issues could tank him quickly.

SPIDERMAN

25/1 - Brown B-Rads - Looks like the type of team that will make the playoffs but can't win anything.
30/1 - RI Colts - Fast Willie Parker isnt going to score three TDs every week, but Larry Johnson isnt going to only score 9 points either.

GREEN LANTERN

35/1 - GOODFELLAS - WRs looked like crap. If LT is hurt could be in serious trouble.
35/1 - TTB - Lost Colston and Burleson, and JStew and LenWhale both lost value.
55/1 - StS - Blame Willis McGahee.

AQUAMAN

75/1 - Stratt Men - I want to knock him down farther since he lost Brady... but there's still a lot of talent on that roster... and you can find a QB if you need one.
75/1 - Beasts - With MoMo out he has nothing on his roster resembling a second RB. Its tough to win like that. Its like Rice's team but without the upside. They both have TE issues and three good WRs. You have to significantly discount Welker without Brady.
75/1 - SK Warriors - WR issues were evident in Week 1, and now McFadden and the Raiders look like a huge question mark. No huge holes or anything... but I keep asking myself "Where is he strong?"

WONDER WOMAN

201/1 - JGR - Still looks shitty to me, sorry buddy.