1) MatchupsAMBULANCE CHASERS vs. THE BEASTSAmbulance Chasers win the “Im back in it! Bowl”
150.60 – 103.40
Team Stars
Chasers: Lee Evans (31.50)
Beasts: Randy Moss (29.50)
Well, well, well. All that talk of a Monday Night Miracle by George proved stupid… moronically stupid. Ambulance Chasers stay right with the playoff teams, and heroically. Despite bad starts from both running backs and only 7 from Anquan I dropped a century and a half on the Breasts.
Here’s a neat comparison(and trust me, this is what you dream of when you play Randy Moss):
Randy Moss: 9 rec, 145 yds, 1 TD - 29.50
Lee Evans: 9 rec, 165 yds, 1 TD - 31.50
Completely cancelled out Randy Moss… and was directly across from him on stattracker… sweet. If only Randy Moss had JP Losman throwing to him, eh Georgie?
Also, I will NOT be shut out in Casali Liquors Cup play, though the trophy will find a new home.
CINCINATTI BOWTIES vs. STUMP THE SKORUPEStump wins the “The 5 and 6 seeds are getting tight Bowl”
146.95 – 114.60
Team Stars
Bowties: Greg Jennings (23.50)
Stump: TO (33.40)
Big win from Mike… not that it matters because the middle is all jammed up and no one is really out. Still, Vinny could have staked a strong claim to a playoff spot if he had won this one. Points are going to matter big time, boys. The way it looks now there may only be one playoff spot that isn’t claimed yet… and Mike just took the lead for it.
SK WARRIORS vs. JOHNNY GAY RAINBOWSRainbows win the “Holy Shit Adrian Peterson is for real Bowl”
151.95 – 135.20
Team Stars
Warriors: Reggie Bush (30.50)
JGR: Adrian Peterson (50.50)
Okay, Rossi… Number 1: youre a dick for remembering and quoting me on that. Number two: My point was LT is awesome and you could have made an easy run at the championship with safe picks. You chose these high risk/high payoff guys… and one of them paid off like 100/1. It was still really, really risky. Besides the fact one of the big downgrades for Peterson was, to me, his injury history… and that is still a major risk as he gets closer and closer to hitting that rookie wall. Id be really scared if I were you. That’s the sort of thing that could derail a championship season. Norwood is hurt too… plus EVERYBODY IN THE LEAGUE IS PRAYING EVERY NIGHT YOUR RBS GET HURT. So think long and hard on that.
Steve gets another heartbreak loss, but you have to feel pretty good if youre in his position. Good win and point totals, racking up points every week… in good position to lock up a playoff spot in the next couple weeks. I think both these teams are in the playoffs, fwiw. Steve may actually still have beaten John if he hadn’t lost Jay Cutler to injury after he got one point for him.
Nice week for John to have both his stud RBs play against eachother…
Also, let me just remind you that I only rub your faces in my best predictions. If I were to remind you of every single fantasy prediction that I made correctly it would take months to go through it all. Id have to hire a secretary to dictate all my predictions to and a team of professional assholes to follow you around all day letting you know how incredible I am.
BROWN B-RADS vs. ROOKIEB-Rads win the “Brad IS the luckiest team Bowl”
102.25 – 81.40
Team Stars
Bo-Rats: Marshawn Lynch (27.40)
Rookie: Larry Johnson (24.50)
Alright, this has been bothering me all season Ben, how can you name your fantasy football team “Rookie.” Shouldn’t it at least be ”the Rookies?” Its like “The Lone Stallions.” Not gonna matter because you now have your back to the wall… and youre facing me this week. After this loss you need to win out to even have a chance at making the playoffs… ouch.
Brad wins another game he had no business winning. What a dick. Other managers lose their sense when they play you for some reason. This was the same as when Terry handed John a win. To the League: We do NOT need to hand wins to the top teams, or at least hand them out evenly – share the love… like if you were (Fantasy Team Manager)’s (Mother/Sister/Girlfriend).
Hey, Brad if youre so called commissioner of this league then why don’t you ever pop up and yell at me for drinking the wrong beer. It might help if you call me Suzy or Nancy too.
SPANK IT BOYZ vs. THE GOODFELLASJay wins the “Well, now we know which Andoscia Brother is Worse Bowl”
127.30 – 84.80
Team Stars
Boyz: Derrick Anderson (22.30)
Fellas: Jamal Lewis (38.40)
Jay pulls out his season and his bragging rights. He’s actually 4-5 now, so nothing to laugh at here folks. Long shot, yes, but is going to finish with a respectable record I think.
Meanwhile, Terry is putting together a fantasy football season that will rank among mankind's most awful crimes. Just remember, buddy, your money is always good here and we expect you back next year!
Two Team Stars... Two Cleveland Browns... Two bad fantasy teams...
DONKEY PUNCHERS vs RI COLTSPunchers win the “It aint over until its over Bowl”
146.05 – 144.25
Team Stars
Punchers: Joseph Addai (33.60) and Santonio Holmes (27.00)
Colts: Brian Westbrook (35.50)
Another actual Monday Night Miracle. Joe was down by 30 and DID come back(as opposed to George). Let me set the stage for you: Joe down by 30 with Santonio Holmes and Jeff?(Josh?) Reed left. Tom has the lead and Matt Stover. Joe gets barely enough and pulls out a miracle victory to keep him with the best record in the league.
There’s not a whole lot to say about this one. All the trade worked out really. Although Lamont sucks now. Even if Lamont was on the difference between what you had and Larry Fitzgerald and Kellen Winslow would make up the gap between LaMont and KJ. Still had to make those trades, in my opinion.
CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM vs. BAD NEWZ KENNELZRice wins the ‘Nobody deserved to win Bowl”
86.95 – 74.70
Team Stars
Team: Carson Palmer (22.05)
Kennelz: Jon Kitna (21.10)
Ugly.
I cant believe Terry wasn’t one of these two teams.
2) BetsCASALI LIQUORS CUPStump the Skorupe 2-0
RI Colts 2-0
Ambulance Chasers 1-2
George 0-3
AL and MIKE’s WRs -Who has the better wideouts? Decided by total points on the year
MIKE: 407.30
AL: 328.80
I still suck… but Im getting closer!
Thank you Lee Evans… I cant wait to see you get two TDs live against New England.
AL & GEORGE TOTAL POINTSAL: 1156.70
GY: 1044.70
Looking good.
PAT & TERRY BETTER RECORDPAT: 3-6
TERRY: 1-8
Good bet, Terry.
JOE & JOHN WHO GOES FARTHER(who goes farther in the playoffs, with John giving Joe odds)
So far they both have the same record, and are 1-2 in points…
3) Heroes
MOST POINTS BY A TEAM THIS WEEK
151.95 – JGR vs. SK Warriors (Week 9)
MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS WEEK
50.50 Adrian Peterson vs. SD (Week 9)
MOST CUMULATIVE POINTS BY A PLAYER THIS YEAR
282.20 – Tom Brady – Brad
220.40 – Randy Moss – George
211.50 – Tony Romo – Jay
192.40 – Derek Anderson – Terry
190.40 – TJ Houshmanfdfdhkjhdfadeh – Joe
190.20 – Adrian Peterson – John
188.60 - Brian Westbrook – Tom
176.90 – Peyton Manning – Tom
175.70 – Ben Roethlisbfdkjhejewdhjger – Mike
175.45 – Carson Palmer - Rice
MOST POINTS BY A TEAM IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
192.30 – JGR vs. Cincinnati Bowties (Week 6)
171.95 – Channel 4 News Team vs. Cincinnati Bowties (Week 2)
171.00 – Ambulance Chasers vs. Donkey Punchers (Week 3)
165.25 – RI Colts vs. Rookie (Week 3)
164.70 – Rookie vs. SK Warriors (Week 7)
164.00 – BAD NEWZ KENNELZ vs. SK Warriors (Week 8)
162.35 – The Beasts vs. Channel 4 News Team (Week 7)
161.90 – Johnny Gay Rainbows vs. BAD NEWZ KENNELZ (Week 7)
158.15 - Johnny Gay Rainbows vs. RI Colts (Week 1)
154.00 – Johnny Gay Rainbows vs. GY (Week 3)
152.85 - Channel 4 News Team vs. Rookie (Week 8)
151.95 – JGR vs. SK Warriors (Week 9)
150.60 – Ambulance Chasers vs. Beasts (Week 9)
150.10 - Cincinnati Bowties vs. Channel 4 News Team (Week 2)
149.20 – Donkey Punchers vs. Johnny Gay Rainbows (Week 4)
147.70 – RI Colts vs. Johnny Gay Rainbows (Week 1)
146.95 – Stump the Skorupe vs. Cincinnati Bowties (Week 9)
146.05 – Donkey Punchers vs. RI Colts (Week 9)
144.25 – RI Colts vs. Donkey Punchers (Week 9)
142.00 – Donkey Punchers vs. Stump the Skorupe (Week 8)
139.75 – Donkey Punchers vs. Ambulance Chasers (Week 3)
139.50 – Brown B-Rads vs. RI Colts (Week 7)
139.20 – SK Warriors vs. GOODFELLAS (Week 3)
MOST POINTS BY A PLAYER IN A SINGLE WEEK THIS YEAR
51.10 – Kevin Curtis vs. DET (Week 3) – John
50.50 Adrian Peterson vs. SD (Week 9) - John
48.40 – LT vs OAK (Week 6) - John
47.10 – Ronnie Brown vs. NYJ (Week 3) – Al
45.10 – Brian Westbrook vs. DET (Week3) - Tom
45.05 – Carson Palmer vs. CLE (Week 2) - Rice
44.40 - Plaxico Burress vs. DAL (Week 1) - Mike
44.10 – Anquan Boldin vs. BAL (Week 3) - Al
43.90 – Ocho Cinco vs. CLE (Week 2) - Vinny
42.30 – Adrian Peterson vs. CHI (Week 6) - John
41.70 – Tom Brady vs. WAS(Week 8) - Brad
41.30 – Steve Smith vs. HOU (Week 2) - Brad
40.70 – Tom Brady vs. MIA (Week 7) - Brad
40.35 - Tony Romo vs. NYG (Week 1) – Terry
39.90 –Tom Brady vs. DAL (Week 6) - Brad
38.40 – Jamal Lewis vs. SEA (Week 9) - Jay
37.35 – Tony Romo vs. STL (Week 4) – Jay
36.70 –Kenny Watson vs. NYJ (Week 7) - Ben
35.75 – Donovan McNabb vs DET (Week 3) - Terry
35.50 – Brian Westrbook vs DAL (Week 9) - Tom
35.40 – Roy Williams vs. PHI (Week 3) - Steve
35.40 – Wes Welker vs DAL (Week 6) - John
34.95 – Drew Brees vs. JAC (Week 9) - George
34.80 – Wes Welker vs. MIA (Week 7) - John
34.60 – Braylon Edwards vs. CIN (Week 2) - Rice
34.50 – TJ Houshmadhfjkahhehfdeh vs. KC (Week 6) - Joe
34.50 – Marques Colston vs. SF (Week 8) - Tom
34.40 – MoJo Drew vs. HOU (Week 6) - Terry
STAR OF THE WEEK (Worth an extra star)Adrian Peterson vs SD - John
TEAM STARS LEADERS (Most Stars at end of season = Fantasy MVP)8 Tom Brady
6 Randy Moss
5 Tony Romo
4 Ronnie Brown
4 Plaxico Burress
4 LaDainian Tomlinson
4 Brian Westbrook
3 Lav Coles
3 Braylon Edwards
3 Antonio Gates
3 TJ Houshmanzadeh
3 Jon Kitna
3 Peyton Manning
3 Willis McGahee
3 Terrell Owens
3 Carson Palmer
3 Adrian Peterson (MIN)
3 Ben Roethlisberger
3 Reggie Wayne
2 Joseph Addai
2 Reggie Bush
2 Anquan Boldin
2 Ocho Cinco
2 Kevin Curtis
2 Lee Evans
2 Larry Fitzgerald
2 Santonio Holmes
2 Torry Holt
2 Edgerrin James
2 Greg Jennings
2 Larry Johnson
2 Kenton Keith
2 Jamal Lewis
2 Donovan McNabb
2 Ben Watson
2 Wes Welker
2 Jason Witten
1 Derrick Anderson
1 Bernard Berrian
1 Deion Branch
1 Drew Brees
1 Dwayne Bowe
1 Dallas Clark
1 Marques Colston
1 Chris Cooley
1 Daunte Culpepper
1 Patrick Crayton
1 Jay Cutler
1 Maurice Jones-Drew
1 Bobby Engram
1 Brett Favre
1 DeShaun Foster
1 Joey Galloway
1 Tony Gonzalez
1 Frank Gore
1 Earnest Graham
1 Todd Heap
1 Tavis Henry
1 Lamont Jordan
1 Andre Johnson
1 Joe Jurevicius
1 Marshawn Lynch
1 Chad Pennington
1 Steve Smith
1 Amani Toomer
1 Javon Walker
1 Hines Ward
1 Roy Williams
1 Roddy White
1 Jason Wright
TEAM STARS FROM THE U THIS WEEK
N/A
TEAM STARS FROM THE U THIS YEAR
3 Willis McGahee
3 Reggie Wayne
2 Edgerrin James
1 Andre Johnson
1 Frank Gore
TEAM STARS FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND THIS WEEK
N/A
TEAM STARS FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND THIS YEAR
1 LaMont Jordan
4) Zeroes (Players who started and scored no points)George – Patrick Crayton
Ben – Demetrius Williams
Ben – Todd Heap INJURY
Pat – Dwayne Bowe
5) Almost Heroes (WRs and RBs who did not start and scored 20+ points)Rice – Reggie Williams (24.80)
6) Almost Zeroes (Players who started and scored few points – less than 15 FFP for a QB; less than 10 for a RB, less than 5 for a WR)Al – Selvin Young (4.70)
Al – Edgerrin James (7.50)
George – Kurt Warner (8.60)
George – Willie Parker (6.90)
Vinny – Kevin Jones (8.60)
Mike – Vincent Jackson (2.60)
Steve – Jay Cutler (1.00) INJURY
Brad – Larry Maroney (5.90)
Brad – Steve Smith (4.50)
Brad – Darrell Jackson (4.10)
Ben – Bobby Wade (2.20)
Terry – Roscoe Parrish (1.00)
Terry – MJD (7.90)
Terry – Travis Henry (6.40)
Jay – Anthony Gonzalez (2.30)
Jay – Shaun Alexander (4.30)
Joe – Alex Smith (7.45)
Tom – Lamont Jordan (4.60)
Pat – DeAngelo Williams (4.50)
Pat – Fred Taylor (6.80)
Rice – Thomas Jones (8.50)
Rice – Rudi Johnson (2.70)
7) Haiku of the WeekRossi is a dick
Monday Miracle for Joe
Yo Adrian! Peterson
8) The Office Quote of the WeekMichael Scott: Dwight betrayed me once before. So this is his strike two. You know what they say, fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice... strike three.
